Spring is Sprung the Grass Ain't Rizz

Our roads aren't quite as bad as this!

With the temperature hovering near 6 degrees Celsius, I was looking very much forward to my ride home after work.  Downtown, the streets are clear of snow and ice, but only three blocks west of the city core, the residential streets with their towering, naked elms were a minefield of ponds, puddles and snowdrifts.

It was only necessary to stop once and that was to disrobe.  I had seen a cyclist earlier wearing a short sleeved cycling shirt and cycling shorts and even though the weather was co-operating, I thought the guy was going a bit far.  Yet nineteen blocks later, I found it necessary to pull over and take off my spandex pants and my regular shorts.  As soon as I was up on the bike again, I congratulated myself on how smart I was to wear layers and my speed increased as I cooled off.  My over - confidence must have increased as well because not long after, I happened upon a road filled with water.  Having splashed my way through numerous puddles already, I dove right in (no pun intended).

While the water was deep enough to kiss my pedals, what I hadn't factored in was the slick ice underneath the lake.  Six feet in it was "MAN DOWN!".  Into the freezing cold, coffee and cream coloured water went I.  This was the second time today that I had gotten soaked.  Earlier in the day I taken it upon myself to climb into a swimming pool wearing only my shorts to film some children enjoying a swim class.  I had looked at the instructor in the water and it came only to her mid thighs.  What I didn't know is that this particular instructor was six feet, nine inches tall and when I stepped into the pool, the water quickly engulfed me to my armpits.  At least it was warm.

I squished my way home and as the sun dipped behind some clouds, the temperature plummeted and a cold breeze began to blow.  My soggy bike gloves offered no insulation and my sopping wet shoes began to freeze.  But I can tell you that it was a pleasure to have a hot shower after stringing up my wet clothes around the house and after finishing in the bathroom, my senses were stimulated to a high degree by the extraordinary aromas wafting from the kitchen where my wife was preparing one of her mouth - watering stir frys.